Sunday, February 21, 2010


She said it was a harmless dinner, so after several rejected offers I reluctantly obliged to this one. Though she had said she fancied me some time in the past, I thought she had long gotten over her infatuations. Little did I know what the night had in store.

It was a bit after 8pm when I heard the honking of her Volvo at my front gate. I slipped on my shoes, sprayed the cologne and made my way to her car. It was like a scene taken out of Usher’s trading places as she held open her car door for me whiles smiling sheepishly.
I should have noticed right there and then that this was not going to be an incident free night when she turned up the volume on the stereo and Celine Dion filled the speakers. “Wow” I said “what happened to Akon”?

As we neared her supposed restaurant, I found out that this was no eating place; it was her house. “I thought we were attending a friend’s dinner” I uttered, slightly bemused. “Well we are” she answered, “just that the friend happens to be my cousin” she explained further.
Not knowing what to do, I followed her through the foyer into the lavishly furnished sitting room. Though her family came off as middle class, the décor in their home said differently.

After quick introductions and pleasantries I became a temporary member of the family, cuddling new born babies and passing beer to cousins I did not know from Adam.

Dinner was a variety of meals but unlike their exotic looking décor, the food was standard African dishes. “Phew” I sighed mentally, “what would I have done if I was given some frog legs and German sauce”.

She sat next to me and kept on explaining to her family what a fabulous investment banker I am. She explained vividly with examples like she had known my career for decades. This lady before tonight had no interest in my work; all she ever did was ask me when the money was coming so we could go to South Africa for the world cup. I have to admit, it felt nice, I felt important.

In between meals she stole quick glances at me and whenever our eyes met there was this spark in hers. She would smile and tell me “I am sorry I sprung this on you”. “Don’t worry” I would say, “call it pay back for standing you up on Valentine’s Day.”
By 10.30pm the party was over and the non family members began leaving. I took the cue and asked her if she could drop me home now.

The drive back was filled with laughter and teasing as Akon replaced Celine on her CD changer. I asked her about why no one felt it was weird having me there instead of John (her boyfriend for over 4 yrs). That was when I had the shock of my life. John apparently was an imaginary character she made up when we first met; the only thing was that, I was now finding out.

She said she did that to prevent me making a move on her. She said she wanted to tell me but I kept going on about my girlfriend so she thought in order to make me comfortable around her, John must continue to live.

By this time we were in front of my house. I was so dumfounded I did not know what to say. Well, the SHOCKER was yet to come.
“I love you” she muttered. “I have since you told me you were never going to cheat on your girl”.
If there ever was a time I was totally blank in my life, this was it. As I searched for words to tell her, she leaned over and kissed my cheeks. “You can get down now” she said trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. “I know you have not called Akua all night and you are dying to tell her what just happened”.

I shrugged out off the car with my tail between my legs like a shamed dog as she backed out of my drive way. “See you later” she yelled as she sped by. That is when I knew that would be the last I will ever hear of Cindy.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Cling, cling, cling, please may I have your attention. I would like to make a toast.
I wish to express my profound gratitude to all the people in my life I have called and to those I continue to call friends. It is indeed true that some friends come into your life for a reason and others for a season, but irrespective of the way or the reason for which you became my friend, I wish to say thank you.

Despite what you may see now, I once was a very shy kid with very little self esteem. I was moulded to this epitome of social status by an old friend; Mr. Danny Blue. He taught me the essence of standing up for my own and he made me believe I was the coolest kid on the block. He taught me the need to stay fashionable both for myself and for the ladies. I practically went from a video game freak to a basket ball star overnight. Finally, he was the architect behind my first dose of the love potion. So for that, Mr. Blue I raise my glass and say “to friends who bring love”.

As you may already know, with stardom comes trouble and trouble came by the name of Mr. Wan. Not only did this cunning creature teach me to grow my new found confidence, he also helped me discover the mischief in me. Hahaha! How we had a good time. From two-timing girls to planning how to deflate the Headmaster’s tyre, Mr. Wan and I did it all. So to Mr. Wan wherever you are, I raise my glass and say “to friends that brought me trouble”.

Then there are the friends you hang out with. Those you share jokes, secrets and basically a bottle of Hennessey with. I call them the friends by night. Johnny Kwest is one such friend. J.K will do everything to lighten up the mood, from a pint of beer to puffs of weed; J.K will subject himself to whatever in order to make your moment. That notwithstanding, Johnny will always come through for you. If you got into a club fight, J.K was leaning over your shoulder punching your attacker, if you needed some soft loan J.K knew who to call and when you were too drank to know who you were going home with, J.K will remind you of whom you say I love you to every night. So to Mr. Kwest, I raise my glass and say “to friends who have got your back”.

How could I have forgotten Mr. Fante. He has been around since forever. Though he remained silent through my rights of passage, he will be the one I will call BEST on my wedding day. He is the one you call an investment partner. Want to double your returns? Call Mr. Fante, want to be reminded why you are here on earth? Call Mr. Fante and when push came to shove and you needed some one to count on rather than Family, Mr. Fante was always there to help you through the thick and the thin. So to Mr. Fante, I raise my glass and say “to friends who should have been brothers”.

You know in life it gets to a time when you simply need to get serious and find the torch that will navigate you through the sands of time. Well, Rabbie was and continues to be a true friend in that department. “Sha” as I affectionately call her did not only bless me with a life-long partner but directed me unto my career path. Oh! Yeah, how could I forget, she helped me graduate Uni. Though she thought she was merely introducing me to another friend, she introduced me to maturity. I found love, a career, life and a constant razor sharp tongue to cut through the lies I continue to tell myself all in Sha. So to Rabbie, I raise my glass and say “to REAL friends who bring out the best in you.”

I know by now the champagne is going flat so I will end my toast by saying “Be courteous to all but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is enlisted to the appellation”. - George Washington

Kindly help me say “TO FRIENDSHIP”