I STILL BELIEVE

Seems like yesterday that we said our goodbyes, when you walked away and never looked back….I didn’t realize it then, that you still had my heart in your hands

I still haven’t found the right words to say back to her. I still haven’t determined what exactly drifted us apart. I read that text over and over again and wonder how my life would have been if I had simply been bold enough to say yes.

Eight years on and I still can’t tell her exactly what happened, how I really felt about her. Every message I have sent in between then and now does not seem to convey all I have to say…maybe saying it in a text doesn’t work for me so tonight I will try this:

It doesn’t surprise me that you believe I have your heart in my hands because you have mine with you too…I carry you in my spirit. I pray for your happiness more than I do mine…I ask God everyday to keep you safe and return you safely to me because I truly believe we were meant to be. I believe so because no two people can survive what we did without being bonded for life.

Remember what you told me the night we decided to go our separate ways: “Que sera, sera.”..? I’m counting on those words being true….I miss you every day.

Too many songs are “our songs” and too many places hold fond memories. In every woman, I wait and hope to see that smile we shared, that laughter that warmed the very soles of my feet.

I am often caught smiling to myself because I remembered something you said randomly….

In the words of Mariah Carey, “I still believe someday you and me will find ourselves in love again”…

This is what I would say to you if I could…but….

You’ll never see this though…because I saw that smile you gave him last night….that smile used to be reserved for me….

I saw the way you held his hand, how many times that touch had caressed me…

Then you kissed him and I knew all was lost…….

I’m happy you found someone who makes you feel the way I used to make you feel because like you said : “Que sera,sera” I wish you every happiness…but I am only human and so I still believe….