Tuesday, December 15, 2009

ADVENTURES OF AN AGEING CLUBBER

So out of severe boredom, last Saturday night I decided to tag along with a couple of male friends to a club recently opened in the city of Accra. Due to my newly evolved self I proudly call “The Matured Mr. Page” I had decided not to indulge in any wild clubbing for fear of my ageing health.

Dear reader, you will be amazed at what you can decipher from sitting alone at the bar of the club just observing.

First of all, there was the bar man who kept insisting from customer to customer that there was no change for any denomination of cedi the already half drank consumers used to purchase their drinks. Funny enough by the time I was leaving, I could see various shades of the new Ghana Cedi sticking out from underneath a mat behind the counter. So I proceeded to buy a bottle of water only to be told after handing him five Cedis, “there is no change”.

Then there was that awfully dressed bloke that was burnt on “getting some” that night. He hopped from lady to lady, woman to woman but finally settled for the hooker who was the source of the tobacco fumes filling the already stale air.

How could I forget the muscled man with “security” broadly written across the back of his shirt? How he cracked me up that night. After hours of observing that this security guy was not moving from the pillar near the toilet, I walked over to find out why. This man had managed to sleep amid all the noise with a mean, firm face that had made me believe the whole time, he was looking out for trouble makers from behind those really dark shades.

Finally there was the greater sect of the merry makers that night; the dancers. Young men and women kept moving awkwardly to a rhythm I strongly believe did not go in tune with the music being played. The ladies seemed to be largely content with what was in front of the guys’ zipper whiles the men were very interested in the behinds of the females. The movements simply looked like something from a porn movie but only with clothes on.

So before I sign out, could somebody please answer this question for me? Aren’t those roundly shaped, plastic thingy worn over the eyes meant to protect the retina from sun rays? And if the majority of the ladies and gents in the club did not know that fact, didn’t the product read sun glasses when they purchased them? Well perhaps they could all be fugitives trying to hide their true identities, aren’t we all. Why else will you go to the club if not to do the things you cannot do in broad day light?

1 comment:

  1. its amazing what you can observe when you're on the outside lookin in..

    ReplyDelete