I grew up believing I was the best actor in the world and at a tender age of 7, I could tell poor acting from a classic Oscar moment. Indeed, I was a great pretender thus I was branded “sly” in my early years of elementary school because I could get away with almost anything.
It was pretty cool at first because I could be amongst the popular kids in the morning (fitting in perfectly) and by noon, I was the nerd most teachers knew me to be. Let’s just say, I could do whatever at whichever time I wanted, I just needed the perfect script to play the perfect role and voila you had your perfect man.
But as I kept growing, this actor became confused. For starters, I could not tell which life was really mine. I could not tell if I was the quiet type who enjoyed novels, loved to stay at home and was comfortable with the one girlfriend at-a-time policy or the wild parties, the popular friends, the flashy clothes and the multiple lovers was my forte. I could play both worlds flawlessly and in each dimension you found me in, I was a natural.
This pretence affected all areas of my life. At one point, I can argue and defend the Christian religion like I was the Pope himself and at another time with the help of Uncle Jack (Jack Daniel’s Whisky) and cousin “Gin” I can prove the non existence of Christ. The funny thing is, in both scenarios I really believed in what I was saying.
Over the past 8 years, I have struggled to find the real Mr. Page. I have searched in areas such as religion, relationships, career options and generally in all departments of my life.
Two years ago I met a lady (can’t really be precise on the date because our anniversary rotates based on the zeros in our personal bank accounts) and being the smooth operator I am (note: present tense, meaning I still am) I conformed to this girl’s desires and made her mine. Initially, I believed this was a similar role I’ve played before but perhaps a different stage. But as the years went by, I realized no matter how frequent I shed my skin, this girl shed her’s as well, conforming to my current conditions.
Gradually, I have learnt and she has also learnt to live with the various shades of my colours. For once in a very long time, I do not have to worry about what my next act would be and though I might never find the real Mr. Page and I will be Ms Understood, at least I have found my niche in this ever changing ecosystem we call earth.